The Celebrity Neighbor Game
While The Teller was scrolling through recent housing news, one particular piece of info caught our eye.
The names Sandra Bullock, Kayne West and the cast of Jersey Shore all appeared in the same blurb, and we thought we’d accidentally clicked on one of our bookmarked celeb websites like People.com or TMZ. But no, The Teller was in fact, on Zillow’s website.
It seems Zillow – that paragon of real estate virtue and honesty – recently conducted a survey that asked adults which celebrity they would most like to be their neighbor and who, of course, they’d least enjoy sharing a fence with.
We’re glad Zillow took time out of its busy schedule to conduct a survey that really only affects those living in Los Angeles and certain boroughs of New York City.
The winner for worst possible celebrity neighbor (because let’s face it – no one really cares who would be the best): The entire cast of the MTV reality show “Jersey Shore.” What, you mean to say you wouldn’t want to live next door to a house full of twenty-somethings that party 24/7 and where GTL (Gym. Tan. Laundry.) is de rigueur? Duh.
Other worst possible celebrity neighbor scenarios included Kanye, Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen. Again, duh. One picks on female pop stars not even old enough to drink, and the other two have a whole host of issues that involve domestic violence and anti-semitism.
In following Zillow’s lead, The Teller decided to conduct its own equally scientific and helpful version of the survey that localizes it to just Massachusetts.
The No. 1 ranked worst celebrity neighbor actually came in as a couple – Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen. The Teller knows what you’re thinking. Who wouldn’t want to live next door to one of the greatest quarterbacks ever and his smokin’ hot supermodel wife?
Well, in the last two years, Brady has not only suffered a damaging knee injury that some would say cost New England another Super Bowl victory, but he was more recently involved in an automobile accident that wrecked his Audi and required the other driver to be freed from his car via the Jaws of Life. The guy is a jinx and that’s all there is to it. The Teller doesn’t need any of that bad karma rubbing off, no matter how easy on the eyes Bundchen is.
The Teller’s survey did find that there was one celebrity residing in Massachusetts that people wouldn’t mind living next door to – Cambridge’s own John Malkovich. The Teller has it on good authority that he doesn’t attract paparazzi and is a pleasure to run into at the local corner store. And if you’re wondering, the man likes his seltzer water. Maybe he’ll even have you over for a drink.
